Politicians� poor grammar/spelling affects everyone!

I thought Nu-Cu-Ler was a crap pronunciation exclusive to Dubya� I suppose I am a romantic, thinking that people want to speak the language as well as they can. But I heard a jackass politico today on un-empathetic talk radio host Laura Ingraham�s show letting �Nu-Cu-Ler� roll off his tongue as if it were surfing. It�s a goddamn weapon that can destroy the world! I think the gravity of its purpose demands proper pronunciation. If you must destroy language, do it with something a little smaller, like li-barry or foil-age. Please.

I caught my sister spelling potato �P-O-T-A-T-O-E� a few years ago. I assumed it was because somewhere in her subconscious she felt bad for Dan Quayle and tried to ease it by adopting his bad spelling. I mean, be bipartisan if you must, even be a staunch conservative. I don�t care (well I do, SORT OF, but that�s another rant). But for God�s sake please don�t allow your support to extend to poor grammar. That, my friend, is going too far. I fear for the grammar of our country, ladies and gentlemen. Even my dad who is wildly Republican couldn�t say anything back to my �But he�s supposed to be our president 'n he just can�t freakin� speak, dad or he refuses to!!!� I�m not sure which is worse. And I am going to stop here lest I end up in the chasm of Dubya�s psyche by way of language and to tell you the truth, there are a million other places I�d rather be. Like cleaning the cat litter.

And then there are the intellectuals who say �it�s a �sort of� homage� or any other adjective phrase meant to disclose some deeper meaning about the work they�ve done. It is the American equivalent to the British �isn�t it?� Condescending. But at least the Brits� �isn�t it?� is somewhat inclusive. For example: Some Michiganer brings Granny�s supposed 18th century teapot on Antiques Roadshow. Granddaughter thinks it�s of Japanese origin. The British expert says, �Well, it has these tiny flowers in red and yellow enamel�so it is early 17th century Chinese, isn�t it?� The expert is trying to prod Granddaughter to agree, almost saying, �I am not calling you a stupid bitch because you thought the teapot was Japanese, I am suggesting you may have forgotten that the tiny flowers clearly point to Chinese origin because I know you couldn�t be so stupid, but I�ll be polite about it.� It cracks me up.

Anyway, let�s all try to say �a �sort of� [insert artistic medium here]� less. I like �sort of� for many things. When you say, �it sounds sort of like The Police,� or something. That is very different to me than, �it�s a [pause] sort of [pause] aural mimeograph, if you will, of �Canary In A Coalmine�.� No. I decidedly will not.

I think I just out-snotted snots. That was snotty.

I just think that this use of �sort of� has become the intellectual �um� and it needs to stop, goddammit. Goddamn Elijah Wood! He�s all big eyed and sort-of-ing all over his pants.

I like flowers.