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2:01 p.m. : 2003-10-26 : Felines, Flashdance, and Just Say, "IT SMARTS!"

Just when I accept as fact that my cats are non-verbal humans I hear some scraping and creep around the corner to find Amelia�s picked the empty cream cheese foil from the goobery garbage and is licking it clean next to the record player; James Brown looking down on her all sweaty and disapproving. I get mad for a second and then think�you know? If that were my only source of cheese and I didn�t have this whole reasoning business to contend with, I�d probably jam the trash fantastic too.

And I�m a little ashamed that I wore legwarmers last night because I�m not a big fan of the two-decade turn around, main source of creativity in fashion (as the designers for the most part sold their souls long ago encouraging bulimia and the like and The Muse took The Ideas away). Anyway, I looked down at my little black pumps coated in wooly and I felt so positively like Ms. Jennifer Beals (minus the Soul-Glo) that the ten-year-old in me couldn�t help but want to gaze upon my pointy dog all night. And it was in part because I wasn�t allowed to see Flashdance. So what could I do? A legwarmer is titillating to behold on one�s own Now Womanly Leg.

^ The company that makes those is called Eurotard! Isn�t that HOT!?^

So here�s something I don�t understand� or perhaps understand all too well, living with a recovering Mormon:

From Aol News on Elizabeth Smart--

"The red silk pajamas that she wore that night -- he made her burn them," Lois Smart said. "When she cried ... he said, 'you should be thanking me'."

"Just being back and not having to be told I am a horrible, wicked, evil girl every 10 seconds," she said. "I'm still happy. It's like it never happened."

**********

NEVER HAPPENED??? Somebody PLEASE tell these people that the Masters of Psychology announced ad nauseum (and continue to) at least two decades ago that DENIAL is definitely Poops McGee. As in It Ain�t Good. Besides the hippy dippy notion that I favor that says don�t miss this amazing opportunity for growth. But no. What I find extra Poops McGee is that they are saying they want this to be a lesson to all kinds of other humans that Prayer Does Work! Now, I totally believe in prayer. But what are they really saying? That those whose children never come back aren�t praying hard enough? That�s sort of what it sounds like. But then again, I�m probably laying my trip on them. And perhaps they want to freak out in private, in their own way, without a camera and a jeans-clad Katie Couric in young strong and beautiful blondie�s face. That�s fine. But it kind of grosses me out how clean the whole thing has to be. Cutting off the nose to spite the face, or cutting off the yuckiness to appear The Most Golden in one�s community. It�s just sad that in some parts of the country denial is still considered to be the right thing to do. The strong thing. Being the most Godlike and the Least Human. I mean, in that interview, Katie would ask her a question, she�d look like she was about to cry a little, and then she�d get all stoic and be like, �Oh, I�m totally the same exact person I was and I�m happy�� I�m not denying that she�s happy to be home. But for Chrissake, say, �IT SUCKED. He�s a heck jerk.� I just know from experience that when you continue to turn the other cheek again and again you eventually run out of cheeks and it starts eating away at your brain and you wonder why, after doing the Christian thing again and again, you have panic attacks. I mean, jeez. Let�s just break out the ropes and cilices and start beating ourselves. There�s this strange accent and inflection that many Mormon women have that actually sounds like they are hanging their heads low. You can practically hear the self-flagellation.

Or I should just shut the fuck up because The Smarts went through a serious ordeal and can deal with it any way they damn well please. I suppose it�s just weird to sit back and wonder when in Elizabeth Smart�s life the pain and dirty messy human chaos is going to come out.

And again, just when my cats were beginning to return to their human forms, Tigger went and pooped on the radiator. And it�s so disgusting that I just have to go away away away..

last - now - next

Give Me Clix, If It Pleases You

I declare this blog �old timey,� ya flibbertigibbet! - 2012-05-27

I Heart Heart Of Gold! - 2006-03-27

Catster, Geezster - 2005-12-20

Le Divorce - 2005-12-12

'Cuz We Need A Little Christmas... - 2005-12-06

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