I would love to have a confession booth as a piece of furniture. Someday I will have one and use it as a phone booth. Wouldn�t that be cool and creepy? It might be a touch too Goth for my liking� but I could always paint it pink.

I would also like Afro Puffs.

Michael Jackson�s latest forked-tongue bullshit (paraphrased) is, �Everybody�s just jealous of me and mad because I�m bigger than Elvis and the Beatles.� And don�t even go comparing that to when John Lennon said the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. Difference: John Lennon understood irony (oh, and the music was different. The Beatles shat gold. No bones about it). I felt bad for Cracko Jacko for some time but now I just find him non compos mentis (as opposed to Elvis who towards the end was non compos Memphis, har har har) and his money and fame keep anyone close to him from pointing out his bad behavior. And I suppose I should feel bad for him on that count too but lately I�ve had little sympathy for people who prey on others because of their own deficiencies instead of getting real help. Can people be masochists and sadomasochists at the same time? I guess people can be anything.

I apologize for not giving you all of the answers. Many of the diaries I read are so matter-of-fact. Not me! Wish-wash all the way, babies.

Jason Biggs: Helping not particularly attractive boys get laid since 1999.

I�m all about shelves today. Thinking about finding an above-the-toilet shelf unit is taking up more brain space than it should.

Das Otto Cats practice tonight. And I haven�t (for maybe the thirteenth practice in a row) learned the organ part to Squeeze�s �If I Didn�t Love You� like I�m supposed to. And Julie hasn�t practiced on my keyboard either. Oh well.

I just ate a hotdog and the teenage fairy me is standing on my shoulder, arms crossed, growling, �No You DITTINT!�

I dated a guy for a few months who reminds me too much of French Stewart and I can�t watch 3rd Rock without cringing.

Aunt Flo is making me crave cream puffs. The spinach I responsibly consumed is not doing the trick. I want goodies. And more goodies. AND MORE GOODIES! And I�m not one of those women who take a little bite of something now and again. If I want it, I eat it. I will eat a medium rare steak if I want one. I was looking at a friend of the family the other day who �looks great for her age� and all that. She always eats only one half of the sandwich bun. Yes, this is better for you than hauling off and eating sandwich upon sandwich upon sandwich. But it made me sad that she�ll probably die without ever having hauled off and eaten a steak. I like that I look good and I eat steak. My dad�s girlfriend is also one of those nibblers. �It Eeez Ok if you have just a leeetle bit of something. A leeetle bit isss Guht.� I prefer to be voracious. I guess she needs to maintain her flat ass.

Word of the Day for Thursday July 11, 2002:

lineament LIN-ee-uh-muhnt, noun:

1. One of the outlines, exterior features, or distinctive marks of a body or figure, particularly of the face. 2. A distinguishing or characteristic feature; -- usually in the plural.

If she saw herself, even in her memory, she did not see the brightness that had been hers as a wife; she saw the lined and ageing woman she had become, as if these lineaments had been waiting to emerge since her features had first been formed. --Anita Brookner, [1]Visitors

Biography -- and, by definition, autobiography -- is the form of the moment. In the shape of a well-lived, well-told life we can discern the lineaments of the day and even, if the life to hand signifies more than itself, the age. --Fred Inglis, "No Discouragement: An Autobiography," [2]New Statesman, December 6, 1996

Crazy wooden galleries common to the backs of half a dozen houses, with holes from which to look upon the slime beneath; windows, broken and patched, with poles thrust out, on which to dry the linen that is never there; rooms so small, so filthy, so confined, that the air would seem too tainted even for the dirt and squalor which they shelter; wooden chambers thrusting themselves out above the mud, and threatening to fall into it--as some have done; dirt-besmeared walls and decaying foundations; every repulsive lineament of poverty, every loathsome indication of filth, rot, and garbage; all these ornament the banks of Folly Ditch. --Charles Dickens, [3]Oliver Twist

Lineament comes from Latin lineamentum, "feature, lineament," from linea, "line."