On the way home from indulging my piggish whims at the McDonald�s drive-thru (at least pigs only eat their own shit) I silently judged a man driving a royal blue Miata with the vanity plate �MIATA.� I thought, �this guy has sorely diminished his chances of getting laid.� He also looked too big to be in that car. It was just a dorky scene. I mean, it�s terrible to say because he might be a really nice guy, but think about him picking you up for a date. And you get in that car with the �MIATA� plate. Jeez. That�s right up there with the plate I saw on a BMW that said �MBA-CPA.� Come on! Get over yourself! You might as well broadcast to the world, �I HAVE NO LIFE!� But that wouldn�t fit on the plate. But I guess some titted bitches would go for the MBA-CPA sort of thing. I�m not denigrating people who work hard for their MBA�s and CPA�s. That�s good for them. But to put it on your damn car is just a damn sad sight. My boyfriend doesn�t have a car. He cooks over a wood-fire grill and I think it�s pretty manly. And yet we can shop for knives and kitchen stuff together. It rocks!

I happen to have a vanity plate because when I first started driving my Dad gave me his car, with his vanity plate that was my parents� initials, EHJS. I like to think it�s an acronym for something zippy but I haven�t successfully found the right words. I always get to �J� and say I�ve got nothing.

In case you�re interested in this vanity plate sort of thing and want to be a big dork too, click here!



Ew� I keep seeing this commercial for Go-gurt. The �Grab �n Go slurping yogurt.� That�s just so disgusting. Slurp. Bleh. That reminds me of Wil�s distaste for the Custard Hut down on Long Beach Island. I�ve gone there since I was in my Mom�s womb and had never thought about it before. He was like, �Custard and hut do NOT go together well. Huts are hot and damp and custard is dairy. That�s disgusting.� Heh! And after some pointy-fingered typing, googling and clicking� a la Penny from Inspector Gadget� I�ve found that the Custard Hut is not a one-time Brant Beach phenomenon, but a popular name for ice-cream joints around the country. I don�t think the non-Jerz Custard Huts are a chain, either. One guy wrote, �LOTS OF WONDERFUL MEMORIES WITH THE KIDS, NOW GROWN, ENJOYING FROZEN TREATS AT THIS ROADSIDE ESCAPE ON THE STICKIEST SUMMER NIGHTS...ESPECIALLY AFTER LITTLE LEAGUE. I STILL STOP BY EVERY CHANCE I GET TO ENJOY A COOL AND CREAMY CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA SWIRL IN A CAKE CUP. A CRISP CHOCOLATE COATING MAKES IT PERFECT!" All caps. Of course. Still not appealing.