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6:08 p.m. : 2002-07-27 : On the Vings of Love! A Production by Venn, Vubyvuss.viaryland.vom, Vand of the Vound

�Whatever you are, you are. Be proud of it.� �My Tea Bag

Like last time, my trip to the beach was excellent and too brief. I finally read Franny and Zooey, thoroughly enjoyed it of course, and learned, to my delight, that what I heretofore called �Pppppppbbbbllllllllhhhhhh,� is actually called a Bronx cheer. Where the hell have I been? And I could have been all slick and just dropped �Bronx cheer� somewhere on yo asses, pretending I knew it all along, but I really was too thrilled not to share that I finally know the correct slang for �a noisy vibration of the lips and the extended tongue, to show derision or scorn.� I�m a freaking open book. I�m the kind of person that, after embellishing a story (and that�s if embellishment ensues), will say, �Ok, so I just totally made that part up.� Recently I was telling Brent and Steve some story and Brent asked, �Did you actually say that to him?� And I replied, �No, not actually. But I wish I had and it was cathartic to say it just now.�

During much of the six-hour drive to the Jersey Shore Julie and I discussed the particulars of a film we are going to make together. I was overjoyed to hear she�s had a story flopping around in her head for about a year that she wants to make into a 20-or-so-minute film. Julie�s an idea girl. I�m a detail girl. This works out well for both of us. I�ve been trying to start a new screenplay for practically three years now and have only gotten as far as the first two minutes. I LOVE details. I love character development. I just haven�t thought of a story worth telling. So it�s nice to have someone say, �Hey�there�s this idea I have: __________, are you interested in working on it with me?� Fuck, yeah! I think we�re just going to film it on my digital camera. Yes I love film. But 16mm is so durn �spensive. And it�s a short gritty comedy. We�re not working our Wim Wenders muscles too heavily.* And she�s in it for the process. There�s no �Oh-My-God-This-Is-Good-I-Could-Squeeze-It-For-All-It�s-Worth� aspect to this project and the energy that Julie exudes in general is calm. We think a lot alike. It will be nice to collaborate with someone who I know won�t go all psycho bad touch on me. Besides, it�s her project to start. So the two principals she has in mind have agreed and I think they�re splendid choices. We�ve got a lot of supreme characters in this town, and distinctive-looking young lads and ladies! I�ll give you a still or something once it�s going.

*Upon settling into a couch to watch Wings of Desire, an ex-boyfriend of a friend, playing on the fact that Wim Wenders is pronounced Vim Venders, said flatly, making me snarf, �Vim Venders� Vings of Desire.� Hehe.

As we speak, cell phones are ringing and classical composers are rolling over in their graves.

Don�t hate me because I�m watching Look Who�s Talking. Also, I, like many of my friends, have little meaningful to write about at the moment.

Joan Didion wrote that writers are �always selling somebody out� and �we tell ourselves stories in order to live.�

My last three reviews appear in the latest issue of the Illustrious Pop Masterpiece Eighth Wonder Of The World that is Amplifier Magazine. Au revoir! As I told you, I was not surprisingly cut loose. And have been ambiguously (and violently) written about in several places that a certain Scorpion in T-bird's clothing who deserves a tiara thinks I might look. He did make one good point, quoting, my favorite and yours, the Beatles old �In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.� Yes my dear Paul McC., I agree. Of course, I�m not in it to win it� I give love not to get love in return but just to love. What a feeling! Simply stir and enjoy! Yet if it really is as measurable and transpicuous as Paul suggests, I must give a lot of love because I sure have a ton in my life. So much that it makes me ache sometimes! Sorry� I didn�t mean to get all Ricky Fitz on you. There is no floating plastic bag to follow. Although I do reserve my right to �get all Ricky Fitz on you� whenever I damn well please. This is my diary, godammit and I�ll stuff this place fit to bust with Greasy Sentimentality and Unctuous Precious Moments whenever I wanna. Like a clear Lucite box packed with lubed octopi. WAAAAAAh. Insert Bronx cheer. Whoa. Who let pack-a-day Granny in here?

I�d like to give you a teensy-weensy-eenie-weeny-yellow-polka-dot red flag: If you�re on the Pill, don�t take St. John�s Wort. It�s been shown to decrease effectiveness! Of the Pill, that is�but I have a feeling an unplanned pregnancy doesn�t do too much to elevate one�s mood. While there is no direct evidence, the FDA�they�s talkin� about it. And if they�s talkin� about it, I�m-a-not gonna take-a any chances.

Thank you thank you thank you, Kristin. I love it when you hit me with your rhythm stick.

Word of the Day for Saturday July 27, 2002:

cynosure SY-nuh-shoor; SIN-uh-shoor, noun:

1. Anything to which attention is strongly turned; a center of attraction.

2. That which serves to guide or direct.

3. [Capitalized]. The northern constellation Ursa Minor, which contains the North Star; also, the North Star itself.

The monarch, at the apex of court power and centre of its ritual, and the greatest patron of the arts, was the cynosure of this culture, standing (or, more usually, sitting) at the centre of a system of artistic practice intended to represent his or her sacred omnipotence and monopoly of power. --John Brewer, [1]The Pleasures of the Imagination

Lucy is very pretty and becomes the cynosure not only of the aforementioned characters, but also of several faceless and epicene young men who also loiter about. --John Simon, "Stealing Beauty," [2]National Review, July 15, 1996

Then, feeling himself the cynosure of every eye in the library, he extemporized a brief speech on his "lucky day." --Peter Schneider, [3]Eduard's Homecoming

Cynosure derives from Latin cynosura, from Greek kunosoura, "dog's tail, the constellation Ursa Minor," from kuon, kun-, "dog" + oura, "tail."

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