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5:39 p.m. : 2002-06-11 : Someone Please Hermetically Seal Me Away From The World, ~or~ There is an "i" in Hermit

I am a dolt head to toe and need to be kept from the world for at least until I get my period. For some reason last night after a celebratory bout at Charlie�s (because I handed in my thesis proposal!!! Yay me!!!) Brent and I, for some reason, thought it would be a good idea to go to the Modell because it�s open until 2. Even though it�s a dirty hole and, while at times loveable, is bathed in a pain in the ass atmosphere with mostly pain in the ass people. And there were so many there last night and I�d already had enough to drink. Well, no problems there because we couldn�t get the bartender�s attention. So we left in a huff and decided to get some frozen pizza foodstuffs from Store 24. Well, feeling sassy, and big or something, I tried to joke UNSUCCESSFULLY with the guy at the counter about the store�s stock of ostentatiously black plastic�d porn rags. And he thought I was asking for one and it became a big misunderstanding and I was asking him which was the best one, trying to be UNSUCCESSFULLY funny� not realizing he couldn�t speak English very well and he was like, �you want Tongue?�. And there were people behind us waiting for my idiotic ass to move along. And while, as you may already know, I�m not big on convention, I must say this is not proper behavior for a Monday night. Not while buying pizzas and toilet paper. So Brent got kind of pissed off at me because he thought I might�ve hurt the guy�s feelings but I didn�t mean to and later on the whole night just disintegrated into tears over really stupid shit. So I end up in a ball on my bed like a fool and Brent's trying to feed me French-bread pizza and I'm shooing him away all Garbo. And while it was rather cathartic to cry, all I have left of it today are stayed puffed marshmallow eyes. I look like one of those goldfish with the weird eye growths. I think I�ll get on drugstore.com and order one of those gel mask thingies. Just buying it will make me feel better. I indulge in retail therapy. Anyway, also there was the other day I yelled at that guy at the party who I knew hated Smashing Pumpkins only because he felt they were �unoriginal.� And he was minding his own business. And that made me realize last night that while I defend, to friends, people who have their organized religion I guess I must also be tolerant of people who have their �scene,� be it punk or indie or republican or democrat. Some people need a cut and dried scene or religion. Fine. I should leave them alone. He can have his cult of Smashing Pumpkin hate. It�s ok. So yo, wagon, come over here and bend over so I can get on ya!

When I about 13 and in New York for dinner and a show with my Mom, Dad and Mom�s friend Connie, Tom Jones was in a limo behind us when we were about to go into the theater and my Mom and Connie whinnied like schoolgirls and almost swooned. It was funny and my Dad and I were embarrassed. Now, I wrote that because I was looking for pictures of Tom Jones to cheer my sour mood and found something even better! This weird German site with pictures of random male musicians and actors from the 60�s, I guess, with no real rhyme or reason. And that I don�t read German only adds to my delight! (I apologize for the weird google link but trying to click on the original thing I kept getting a 404 error in German).

�Naja, eigentlich hat der Klaus K. nicht so einen tollen Scheitel. Aber er ist ein Promi,und er hat damals die tollen kranken Rollen gespielt!

Respekt!!!!!!!�

I can�t believe it�s been ten months since September 11th. God bless all of those people. All of them. Prayers for everyone! Really close friends of the family lost their son, Robbie, who was a few years older than me. He was such a nice guy and our families used to go to the beach together sometimes. His father is also our dentist (and a damn good one) and it�s so heartbreaking they had to use his dental records to identify him and I was just thinking about it today, that his father would have those and have to give them to the people and how weird that would be. I was just picturing the conversation they would have to have had and how hard it must have been. �You�ll need to get the dental records from his dentist.� �I am his dentist.� Just so weird. But it�s good that they found him because it gave them some closure. Even so, when my Dad told me they found him we just cried on the phone together. He told me that his mother spent about an hour with his body, praying and holding it and stuff and the thought of her, this strong woman, having to be there and do that just made me burst into tears. And they found him on his birthday, oddly enough. My Dad and I�ve talked quite a bit about that day. I�ve cried for them and I�ve cried in anger at those responsible. There were days I thought I would positively break after that day. The presence of such evil was so tangible.

Anyway, if you pray, please take a couple seconds to say a prayer for all of those people, for the world, for all of us, and to try to kill the hate somehow. I know it sounds cheezy but I really believe positive thoughts can make an impact. I mean, love is really a positive thought when you think about it (~der~) and think about how much that impacts us.

Could Lisa Loeb be ANY cuter? I don�t like her music yet she was just on tv and I had to watch her because I�m thinking, �How cute is that outfit? I wonder if I can do my hair like that? Look how white her legs are!� Her new album is appropriately called Cake and Pie she says because when anyone offers you cake or pie you should say, �cake and pie.� Of course she doesn�t look like she eats either one. But it�s just all sweetness happening.

Word of the Day for Tuesday June 11, 2002:

fulminate FUL-muh-nayt, intransitive verb:

1. To issue or utter verbal attacks or censures authoritatively or menacingly.

2. To explode; to detonate.

transitive verb:

1. To utter or send out with denunciations or censures.

2. To cause to explode.

This mass culture--global, immediate, accessible, buoyant, with shared heroes, models, and goals--is immensely intoxicating. Ayatollahs fulminate against it; dictators censor it; mandarins try to slam the door on it. --Lawrence M. Friedman, [1]The Horizontal Society

He lets others fulminate on his behalf while he maintains his gentlemanly demeanor. --Richard Sandomir, "Cablevision's Dolan Makes the Deal Only When He's Ready," [2]New York Times, December 6, 1998

Everyone wants to be young, beautiful and rich. I don't say that scornfully: there are worse things to want to be. But that's why, for example, people don't begrudge Kate Moss how much she earns for a day's work but will fulminate over the take-home pay of some fat, old Water Board exec. --Nigella Lawson, "Never mind the size, just feel the price," [3]The Observer, September 3, 2000

Fulminate comes from Latin fulminare, "to strike with lightning," from fulmen, fulmin-, "a thunderbolt."

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