My shui is in bad need of fenging. My sister suggested that I move my desk because, according to her, “it’s no wonder you keep getting stabbed in the back.” So my shui I shall feng. Perhaps this afternoon. It’s an auspicious day for fenging some shui.

Ok. I’ll stop.

Also, call it “gobbledygook” if you must—I heard that the other night. But the truth is, if you want to watch the football game you’re going to want the couch to face the television. Take that to subtler levels and you’ve got yourself some shui to feng.