Private cats

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Are watchin� you

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Watchin� you eat your food

They see it

It�s my birthday! 27 years ago my mom squoze me out and 9 months before that my dad gave birth through his penis to half of me. I think I am going to start celebrating my spermday, which would be around December 10th. I could ask Dad for more accuracy but methinks that wouldn�t be a comfortable conversation. Ok. So I�ll say my spermday is December 10th.

Men�isn�t it funny that their only version of giving birth is a tiny speck of a thing, through the penis, in a comforting stream during the ecstasy of orgasm. We�re not even guaranteed orgasm and when we give birth it�s like a watermelon and YOU CAN DIE. And be very aware of that death. You feel like you�re going to die anyway.

So I�ve talked to practically everyone in my family and several friends already today and the whack thing is I drank so much wine last night I don�t even have a hangover yet�I hope I haven�t sounded like jerksauce. I think I�m still fatoosed. And the hangover that still fatoosed mornings promise is a bad and scary one. That�s why I�m eating all of the hardboiled eggs with Frank�s Hot Sauce I can get my hands on.

Slim trick�eat lots of your favorite fatty food the morning you know you�re going to have an awful gut-wrenching hangover. I promise that after it comes up again and again it will be the last thing you want to see for some time. Voila! You�re lighter!

And just remember kids�if you happen to get caught between the moon and New York City, the best that you can do is fall in love. Also, sailing will indeed take you away to where you always heard it could be. I know it�s crazy, but it�s true.

So far on this holiest of days we�ve eaten soft-boiled eggs that were meant to be hardboiled but somehow Mr. Chef Extraordinaire, in defiance of a decree by the Chefs of the Round Table, fucked them up. See, it seems proper hardboiled eggs are a subject of much debate in the World of the Cook. Discussion ensued upon Brent�s boss eating a hardboiled egg at the B-side that happened to have a greenish outside to its yolk. Since then, upon consumption of eggs at the B-side, we always debate the best way to cook a fine egg. My favorite method is this: Put the eggs in cold water. When the water boils, take it off the heat, cover it and leave for eleven minutes. Cool them in the sink with cold water for a bit. This makes a fine egg. I love it�eleven minutes. These boys and their numbers. Anyway, that�s James�s method.

Word of the Day for Tooosdee, September 10, 2002:

renascent rih-NAS-uhnt, adjective:

Springing or rising again into being; showing renewed vigor.

Their goal: to give voters in the June presidential elections a realistic choice between the rough-and-tumble reforms of President Boris Yeltsin and the Soviet-eranostalgia of Gennadi Zyuganov, leader of the renascent Russian Communist Party. --James O. Jackson, "Can Opposites Attract?" [1]Time, May 13, 1996

In the wings a renascent conservative movement waited tomake the most of that discontent. --Bruce J. Schulman, [2]The Seventies

Shuichi Kato, a renowned leftist literary critic, was staunchly against the Vietnam War and is always alert for signs of renascent militarism in Japan. --James Fallows, "Japan: Let them Defend Themselves," [3]The Atlantic, April 1989

Where are the new ideas upon which a renascent Toryism can build? --David Aaronovitch, "There's no setting for Hague's Tories at the nation's kitchen table," [4]Independent, March 11, 1999

Rabbinical students saw themselves at the center of a renascent American Judaism, pioneers of a nationwide -- no, worldwide -- Jewish faith rooted in the best of the past and vigorous with contemporary innovations. --Chaim Potok, "Legitimate Voyeurism," [5]Forward, November 4, 1994

Heading the pack of institutional investors were dedicated "emerging-market funds", set up specifically to reap high returns in renascent stock and bond markets. --"The miracle unmasked," [6]The Economist, December 9, 1995

Renascent comes from Latin renascens, present participle of renasci, "to be born again," from re-, "again" + nasci, "to be born."