I�m in trouble with this �sleep less, live longer� smack. But it�s probably a bunch of hooey, like everything else. My big toe causes cancer, you know? Jeez� I sound like a geriatric geezer already. All of my sleep must be inching me closer to the old dirt nap.

Oddly, on AOL, I was trying to click on the story for �Fabled Sea Mammal Faces Extinction: A mammal considered the inspiration for seafarers' tales of mermaids is disappearing from the planet, a U.N. agency told the world's environment ministers. Click for details,� and it gave me a �you do not have access to this area� message. Conspiracy? Who are these mermaids? And why can�t I have at them? That reminds me of this terrible screensaver I downloaded because it was of mermaids and I adore mermaids� whoever made the damn thing� I don�t even know how to explain it. There was awful water sound too that was obviously clipping when it was recorded. And the mermaids were ugly. Yes, they had boobers and they were gross, unlike these cute Kewpie mermaids.

I�m glad to see that the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack won a grammy. T-Bone Burnett a-go-go!

I think I�m going to make a French album. Eliot and I did a French version of �Night and Day� for our Pocket Symphony album (site should be up soon), that should be in a Japanese film with Catherine Deneuve, using a slowed down sample of Raymond Scott�s version of the song. Raymond (pictured above�yes folks, he�s making it right now) made one of the first sequencers and electronic recording studios, and did a lot of music for commercials featuring those great authoritative 1940�s voices. And I just found out he had the same birthday as me! I have another French song�accordion, guitar, etc� I wrote it based on the idea of the French courtly love poems� you know, where men burn in winter, freeze in summer at the idea of not getting the woman of his dreams. The thing is, the man never gets the woman in these poems. Petrarch brought courtly love poetry to Italy during the Renaissance (writing his own) and I believe Shakespeare based Romeo on the courtly love hero, only he ends up actually getting the object of his desire and everything obviously turns tragic because his archetype is not meant to get the lady. At the beginning of the play he�s waxing poetic about the �fair Rosalind� and how he can�t have her, speaking in courtly love poetry. God, I wish �courtly love� wasn�t so close to �Courtney Love.� Ironically, she seems to get whatever she wants. Anyway, French music. Love it.

Yep.

There�s a new Herbal Essences commercial, taking place in a library to play up on that �oo� this is just too fun and too loud� angle. The cute-but-bespectacled and overwhelmed librarian ends up with lather flung on her face. And some old guy (the fine collector, perhaps?) opens a door and is hit with a tsunami-sized wave of water. So racy for daytime! Speaking, of which� I must take a shower now that I�ve successfully painted my toenails and watched crap-ass TV. And it�s even worse now because every channel is �breaking news� about the Red Sox because Pedro took a dump after eating a McDonald�s lobster roll. Nah, the team just got sold and some guy is talking about it. And it made Pedro take a dump (where did he take it?).